There are very few things, which happen during sex that can be termed as a disaster unless you choose to perceive them that way. The moment you change the way you look at things, the things you look at tend to change. Sex myths …..
Many people are generally discontented with their sex lives. Problems with sex come up as a result of various factors. For example; communication difficulties, lack of confidence, inexperience and lack of skill, refusal to take responsibility for our own sexual pleasure and unrealistic expectations.
What most people are not aware of is the existence of beliefs and opinions regarding sex that we all have and take them in every sexual encounter. This tends to develop bias and unrealistic expectations while having an intercourse.
Below are some of the sex myths that people uphold…..
1.Men Cheat more than women
That is not true. From experience I think it is safe to say that women cheat almost as much as men. It is dependent on what you consider by the word cheating. If it is only with regards to sexual intercourse, then you might be right. However, if you broaden the perception to include other actions like the second or third base, then women cheat as much as men.
2. Penetration is the ultimate goal in sex
Focusing on the destination as opposed to the journey is responsible for the burden placed on men to ‘perform’. Penetration is often regarded as the center of sex, yet manual and oral sexual activities are likely to be at least as (and often more) satisfying for a woman. When penetration becomes the ‘goal’ of sex, foreplay is only recognized as something that leads to proper sex, rather than being a pleasurable activity itself. When sex is reduced to being a rush towards the man’s ejaculation through penetration, then no wonder most people find sex to be boring and unfulfilling. This is a sex myth that people should abandon in to enjoy all the pleasure that comes with sex.
3. If you wear a condom you can’t get an STI, right?
Wrong! STIs can be transmitted while using condoms. Condoms offer good protection against some STIs like HIV, Chlamydia and gonorrhea, but they do not cover the entire skin area so you can still receive and give STIs such as genital herpes that are transmitted through skin contact.
4. Premature ejaculation is an indication of a meager lover
Most men worry due to the lack of ability to control ejaculation. Leaving your partner high and dry often brings a feeling of shame and failure. There is disappointment from the other partner since his orgasm means the end of sex.
Learning how to manage his anxiety with regards to performance and being able to talk to a partner are the most efficient ways of building sexual confidence. Some of the casual strategies that are popular in our culture do more harm than good. For instance, trying to delay ejaculation by distracting yourself with non-sexual thoughts will do little to improve your sexual pleasure.
This tactic is more likely to construct a feeling of disassociation. It may help him to delay ejaculation (debatable) but consciously focusing away from your physical pleasure is unlikely to facilitate peak sexual experiences. Being emotionally present during sex is crucial for sexual awareness and intimacy. It is a far more successful strategy for a man to learn about how to control his ejaculation than to continue to deliberately create emotional distance from his partner and the desired sexual experience.
Tantric sex exploration provides a favorable way to learn the ability to control ejaculation since it teaches techniques that allow him to distinguish between ejaculation and orgasm. Contrary to popular belief they are not the same thing.
5. An Erection is the same thing as Sexual Arousal
This is an intricate idea for most people to understand. Sexual arousal happens within a visual, emotional and physiological context. If you think about the nature of attraction and desire, you will recognize that it is not always a purely physical response. It involves idiosyncratic and sometimes unpredictable preferences. Sexual desire on most cases does not exist without a sexual context. It is confined by the accompanying thoughts and emotions that you focus on at a given time. Men experience erections of varying hardness depending on how they are feeling and thinking at the time. An erection does not necessarily signify that a man is fully, or evens a little, aroused. He may become erect without feeling predominantly sexy.
For men who are insecure on maintaining their erection, confusing arousal with erection means that they frequently rush into sex before they are completely ready. If you habitually move from low arousal into sex, your desire may start to decrease. This usually happens since most men feel that they may lose an erection if they don’t act upon its presence immediately. Having sex in an atmosphere of insecurity and fear is not going to grant you the best sexual experiences that you have the ability to attain.
There are several things that men can do in order to learn how to exert control and confidence over their erections and ejaculatory control rather than ignoring their insecurity and depriving themselves immense sexual experiences. Whenever your actions and decisions are motivated by uncertainty and fear, you are selling yourself short in one way or another. Most men are not certain on where their pleasure comes from during sex. They experience lack of understanding about their own bodies, which means that they are unaware that their whole body can become aroused.
6. More sex means better sex
Quantity versus quality of sex is likely to be different most of the times. It is unrealistic to expect that sex is always going to be mind-blowing. It requires an investment of effort and time. Variety is the key. Getting stuck in a predictable routine that both partners play out means that sometimes both quantity and quality suffer. We are surrounded by myths about sex. Surveys that show us how often people are having sex (or how often they say that they are having sex) become avenues of establishing a bogus norm of sexual activity that you may try to replicate.
Quality can suffer if you are too concerned on increasing the quantity of your sexual experiences. Many people feel under pressure to have more sex, but this doesn’t mean that they are going to be better lovers or have better sex. It merely means that they have more sex. Compulsive sexual behavior can be detrimental to your sense of who you are, what you have to offer, your work, relationships among other things. Comparing yourself with your perceptions of other people’s sex lives is always destructive. The only thing that needs to matter is your sexual happiness and that of your partner.
7. Sexual fantasy is a barrier to intimacy
Most people prevent themselves from having the superlative sexual experiences that they could have since they think that fantasy should be restricted to masturbation and should not be a facet of partner sex. Choosing when and whether to share private desires with your partner can be exhilarating. Moreover sharing is not the point of the fantasy. Fantasy is a matter of learning what turns you on and exploring your potential to express your sexuality. It is quite normal for women to have trouble reaching orgasm with a spouse due to insufficient mental arousal. She probably has a her way to orgasm through masturbation, but feels guilty to enter the realm of fantasy when with her partner. The ability to get intimate is enhanced by confidence and self-knowledge. The uninhibited communication and expression of fantasy can bring partners closer together.
8. Girls who engage in a lot of sex have a loose vagina
No! The vagina is elastic and stretches to accommodate any penis size, and when you are pregnant, to deliver a baby. It widens when you are aroused since it is getting ready for the D. As a result, it will not become loose from having too much sex. However, childbirth can cause the vagina to lose some of its elasticity.
9. Penis size matters a lot
The truth is that the size is usually more important to a man’s ego compared to a woman’s pleasure. The G-spot is believed to be located about 2 inches inside the vagina. As a result, the head of the penis stimulates the G-spot as the penis thrusts. This means that a big penis has a high probability of missing the G-spot completely. Penis size is a matter of individual preference, but has nothing to do with satisfaction.
10. Anal and Oral sex are Safe alternatives to Vaginal Sex
Different types of sex come with diverse risks. What is “safe” depends greatly upon how you define safe.
If your only concern is getting pregnant, then it is true that oral sex and anal sex are safer alternatives. Conversely, most people have more concerns in addition to pregnancy such as STIs. STIs are passed through anal and oral sex. If you’re having vaginal, oral or anal sex, let your healthcare provider know. This is because there are different kinds of STI testing that may be recommended for you.
STIs transmissions vary based on a variety of practices and a number of factors can increase your risk regardless of what you do. For instance, unprotected oral sex right after brushing your teeth (it may cause small tears in your gums) can be riskier compared to protected vaginal sex. Under the appropriate circumstances, the opposite can be true as well. You need to assume a reasonable amount of risk when indulging in sexual activities all the time. Always play it safe regardless of the activity and you will have less to worry about.
11. Great Sex Comes Naturally
Does great sex really come naturally? You will get just as many answers from people because nobody seems to agree. Some people have great chemistry and there don’t need to work on it. Other individuals don’t have interests that collide in the throes of passion and have to put in more effort. So which is it?
On some occasions people have great chemistry and everything seems to click for the first 2 or 5 months. However, on most occasions great sex needs patience, practice and a little forgiveness. It is a matter of accepting another person’s body and getting rid of your own insecurities. Great sex entails making mistakes and getting over them. It would cease to be great if there was no variation from time to time.