I have come across many married couples and I have noticed an alarming tendency along the way. Most couples are disheartened by the situation of their sex lives. Most of them are not sure why their sex life is so frustrating. As a result, they have no idea on where to start to fix the problem.
It is not meant for couples to live in a state of sexual frustration and dysfunction. The reasons that cause sexual strain can be complex. Here are some of them….
1. Lack of communication.
I am amazed by the number of couples that don’t talk about the sexual side of their marriage. It is good to talk about it. Share your fantasies, frustrations and fear.
2. Personal Crisis
With time we all change, shift, grow and adapt. A personal crisis is not uncommon and it is a natural part of our progression as individuals. However, sometimes it may mean you feel distant and estranged from your partner. Sometimes you are even completely disinterested in sexually engaging with them. Do not beat yourself up as a result. Try to reach out and work your way through this phase together.
3. Deprived physical health.
If you are out of shape, you are most likely not going to have a pulsating sex life. Strive to make physical health (working out, eating right etc.) a main concern in your marriage. It will result to more satisfaction and happiness both in and out of the bedroom.
On some occasions, lack of satisfaction or sex drive can be caused by an imbalance of hormones. If you think this might be a problem for you, it is advisable to consult your doctor. There exist some very effective treatment alternatives that in addition of helping you with sex, will also help you feel better overall.
5. Mental Affairs
The grass always seems greener on the other side, and this also applies to sex. From intriguing literature to porn, your personal extravagance may be wreaking havoc on your sex life. This happens when you create fantasies that are more exciting compared to the real thing. In addition, this excludes the emotional component of sex, which when removed can result in a range of complications in the bedroom.
6. Exhaustion.
For people who have crazy work hours or young kids at home, they know how exhaustion can take a charge on the libido.
7. Boredom
It is good to remember that sexual energy is inherently creative. Slipping into an uncreative furrow can be detrimental to your sex life. You do not have to follow the customs or get elaborate. You just have to know how to express yourself and your creativity through it.
8. Past abuse.
Unfortunately, many people have experienced some type of sexual abuse in the past. Abuse can leave deep and lasting scars. If you are haunted by the pain of abuse, I encourage you to seek counseling help. This is not just for the sake of your sex life, but for the peace of mind and emotional healing.
9. Unjustified Expectations
When it comes to the actual act, sex education is somehow missing in our societies. Many people among us turn to porn for answers. With pornography taking center stage and few other resources available, many of us possess too many expectations when it comes to our sex life and experience. These can silently harm our bonding, pleasure and satisfaction.
10. Keeping Secrets.
Secrecy is a great enemy of intimacy. Sometimes a lack of connection sexually is a symptom of a deeper trust issues in the marriage.
11. Using Sex to Express the Unexpressed
If you are going to play passive aggressive, it is advisable to try and not drag sex into the dynamic. Using sex as a bargaining chip will not only impact your sex life, but also your trust and relationship as a couple.
