Relationships can be hard. They need a lot of focus, dedication and work. Finding the appropriate person to settle down with can be very frustrating at times. Even when you find the right person, you will still need to work hard in order to maintain the relationship.
I have received advice from different people, and I have tried to compose some that I found helpful….
1. Take a risk
A friend advised me not to be consumed by the fear of pain and rejection. I was once in love with an individual that was in a relationship with someone else. Though our feelings were mutual, I kept my distance since I was not the first choice. We met after some years, and we were both single. We had always been compatible and comfortable with each, but I was scared. The person had rejected me before and it would be very painful to encounter this all again. However, my friend insisted that I ought to believe in second chances, and take a risk and I did. Now we are happily married.
2. Take it easy
Too often we are caught up in fear-based desires to control our partner. The act becomes a destructive compulsion, which corrodes the integrity of the relationship. It tends to replace compassion and respect with resentment and anger. It has the ability to destroy the quality of our lives and with time, the relationship.
The advice influenced my approach to romantic relationships. I allowed for more space, which in turn enhanced more peace, happiness, less reactivity, and respect. A common struggle of most relationships is finding the appropriate calculus in the autonomy-and- togetherness equation. The best way to integrate space is being proactive and enabling emotional rather than physical space. Partners ought to allow each other the necessary space to be themselves without attempting to control the outcome.
This is probably among the most important factors in order to enhance a lasting and rewarding relationship. The moment you are comfortable to talk and listen to your partner, you will overcome many challenges.
Young couple with guitar on the beach in summer day.
There is no way you will love anyone more than the willingness you have to love yourself. With this advice, I learned the importance of caring for my body, mind, and spirit. I relate love with the oxygen mask found on a plane. You need to apply it to yourself before you can apply it to the person. This advice boosted the chances of clinching my wife’s hand in marriage. Showing her that I loved myself was an indication that I could be a pillar of compassion and strength.
5. The brain is the most important sex organ
At first, lust is all you desire but, with time the hot sex emanates from friendship and the emotional connection that you have already established. You have to involve your brains; there are no two ways about it.
• Talk about those things that you think are important to you.
• Ensure compatibility in your values, priorities, interests, and senses of humor.
• Do not be afraid to debate and disagree.
6. Do not overanalyze
For quite some time, I was a failure with dating since I worried too much. I was very concerned of what my dates thought of me to an extent of losing sight of enjoying the experience. The moment I got rid of this behavior, things went well for me.
7. Put in some effort
You must put in energy and time into a relationship. There are times you need to make sacrifices and compromise in order for the relationship to work. If you are not ready to do this, your relationship is headed nowhere.